Know/Hope

It's strange feeling my body reacting to us trying to conceive (ttc).
Within the past week since my period ended I have felt everything from sick to hyperactive. I've had aches and twinges (possibly down to ovulation) and my breasts are seemingly bigger, and definately more veiny.
I'm moody, tired and emotional one minute... and happy and active the next.

Now, I know full well it's too early for symptoms, so I know some of them are psychosomatic, brought on by the hope that we've caught that egg, but that knowledge doesn't stop the hoping. Nothing can stop it.

But where does hoping and knowing split? Where's the line between them?

If I look deep down, I know, about 80% positively, that we've managed it first time.
Part of this is because OH has 3 children, all conceived on the first try (or accident in some cases). I know this doesn't mean it will this time, but it seems coincidental.
Another reason is that I just feel... well... pregnant. I have since the day after our first "attempt". I feel whole, and I am confident we've moved in the right direction. But then the 20% is saying wait... and "maybe its just the knowledge that we're trying".
I don't know, and I guess during this two week wait, I won't at all.

We did a HPT this morning, which, as expected, was negative. This didn't dissapoint me, because we know its too early for the HCG to be high enough, but we couldn't resist trying just for the fun of it.
I'm due for another AF (aunt flo for those not TTC) around the 6th-10th. I've never been regular, but I know it's sometime that week I'm due. So I guess I'll do another test in around a week or two.

And if I'm wrong, and its more hope than know...

Well, I guess we'll have to try again, and a little harder this time *wink*.