This little angel.

It's been the craziest week.
On the 13th August I got the first of 4 positive pregnancy tests, so we got very excited that it had happened so quickly. So I called the GP and got booked in to see him after a urine test which I dropped in on monday (17th August).

I wanted to move fast to ensure I had the correct care with my thyroid problems. So I called Wednesday for the urine result, which came back as inconclusive. This didn't make sense to me, so I asked to see the GP. Unfortunately an hour before seeing him I had the beginning of a bleed.

It's moved very fast since, but the out and out fact is I have, in fact, had an early miscarriage. There's nothing that could have been done, and it is NOT due to the thyroid trouble. It's just one of those things.

SO we're getting back on the wagon and trying again as soon as possible.

But for now, this is for the angel we weren't meant to meet.

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms, Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way For all eternity.
The little one we long for Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty, Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts Says that we love you.

Author Unknown

Update

It's been quiet because theres nothing much to report on. With exception of the fact that my period hasn't appeared, but I'm not reading much into that due to the other fact that neither has a positive test.

So, I've been trying not to think about it, and spending lots of rainy British summer days with DD.

We're going to the farm tomorrow, so I'll write a longer post then.

xx

Twiddling thumbs, picking at nails and still waiting

Here comes the final 2 weeks before that horrid red thing should appear, and my "official" two week wait.
The problem is, with my irregular cycles I have no idea when I'm supposed to be ovulating, or the exact flow date. But we've... erm... hugged a LOT so I hope we managed to get the dates even a little and that we're now on the home straight to a nice positive test.

Yes I know it probably won't happen on month one, but a girl can hope.

Until I get the 2 little lines, its just a case of munching my levothyroxine, and getting on with it.
But it's hard, because I'm sure my meds are low. I keep getting terrible cramp in my legs, which is causing the crushing backache. And its muscle cramps according to physio.
Luckily I also have around 2 week until my next blood test, so that may show the problem and have me on the ladder to recovery pretty quickly.

Other than that a few more (probably in my head) symptoms of preggerness have appeared. As I said, reading not a lot into these but I'm gonna keep track just in case.

So heres the list thus far...

• Headaches from the far reaches of hell
• Moodswings from the deepest depths
• Forgetfulness
  
• Super Emotional - come on... I cried cos the cat got fed twice...
• Sore nipples
• Cramping and twinging in my lower abdomen
• Very very very tired, near enough all of the time
• Lots of dry sneezing
• Amazing sense of smell... I can smell cat pee when it isn't there, and sweet yeast when I'm the other side of asda to the bakery
  
• Broke out with 6 zits on my chin today... I mean 6!! come onnnn. Plus I never get em chinwards!
  
• Cervical Mucus (discharge) is more than normal, but creamy... tmi I know but this is in the name of information.
  
• Peeing way too much... especially all of the time hmmph
• Forgetfulness - did I already say that?

And there are a few others that have escaped my cottage cheese brain.

So today is day 17 in the "please don't bleed" phase.... only 11 more until Red Flag or Aunty Flo's visit....
I hope she misses the damn train :p